TEENS AND PORNOGRAPHY: DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN ADDICTION AND BAD HABIT

We are often asked the question: is my child an addict or are they merely engaging in inappropriate behavior? In these modern times it’s hard to distinguish between the two.  Especially when it comes to pornography and masturbation.

The difficulty lies in society’s disagreement over what constitutes the needs of the “natural man.” For example, some people see masturbation as a purely healthy stress reliever, as noted by clinical sexologist Gloria Brame, who stated in a recent Men’s Health article,  "We are programmed, as best we know, to need orgasms. It's a fundamental aspect of men's health, right up there with brushing your teeth."

Just type “is masturbation okay” on Google and you’ll find a whole slew of pro-masturbation articles written by professionals. These same people often don’t see the danger of viewing a little pornography either. If it’s fun, why not do it? If it feels good, why not binge?

The argument against pornography continues to build steam, and is best summed up in this quote from LDS Church apostle Dallin H. Oaks:

“Pornographic or erotic stories and pictures are worse than filthy or polluted food. The body has defenses to rid itself of unwholesome food. With a few fatal exceptions, bad food will only make you sick but do no permanent harm. In contrast, a person who feasts upon filthy stories or pornographic or erotic pictures and literature records them in this marvelous retrieval system we call a brain. The brain won’t vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind and drawing you away from the wholesome things in life.”

Herein lies the problem. One side claims pornography is perfectly natural. The other claims it’s a disease. So which side is right? More importantly, which side do you listen to? And how do you know if someone you love needs help?

Listed below are earmarks of addictive behavior to help differentiate between addiction and a bad habit. Keep in mind, sexual desires, thoughts, and actions are perfectly natural. It’s when we begin to lose control over those passions that a problem arises — a notion the “Eat drink and be merry” crowd doesn’t concern itself with. 

Frequency – refers to how often the young person engages in the behavior. If viewing pornography only occurs a few times per year, the behavior is not likely an addiction, although the behavior is clearly inappropriate. If the person views pornography three or four times per week, the presence of an addiction is much more likely.

Duration – Duration refers to how long the problem has persisted. Persistent use of pornography over extended periods of time often reflects the young person’s inability to stop viewing.   A recurring problem may indicate that problem-solving skills by the young person have been inadequate or insufficient. The longer a problem has continued, the more it may require professional assistance. Some problems require more time and expertise than family members and Church leaders can provide.

Intensity – Intensity refers to the nature of the material viewed. While all pornographic images and content are inappropriate, some types of material are significantly more intense. Media that depict sexual acts are more intense and graphic than media of individuals wearing little or no clothing. The viewing of hard-core, intense pornography increases the likelihood of an addiction.

Risk Taking – Another primary factor of addiction is the level of risk-taking behaviors presented by a young person. The stronger the addiction, the more the young person is willing to take risks to satisfy the addiction. Risk-taking activities in youth may include escalating immoral behavior, skipping school, sexual abuse, lying to parents and church leaders and any unlawful or covert behavior.

Three reasons why today's teens are more vurnerable than past generations for developing a pornography addiction

Mental health counselors and psychotherapists are seeing a pattern of increasing numbers of teens and young adults seeking treatment for problems related to pornography addiction and its accompanying behaviors.   This pattern suggests a need for further analysis as to why this is occurring and what the long-term ramifications of this may be.  Studies already suggest that most adults struggling with sexual addiction first developed the addiction during adolescence.  Does this pattern predict an epidemic of future sexual addiction as these teens move into adulthood?

The Youth Pornography Addiction Center was founded in 2010 and has been studying this trend and providing treatment to teens and young adults in this area since that time.  Based on its experience, listed below are three reasons why this trend is occurring:

1.Access—Pornography has always been available, but until the age of the internet, had to be accessed in magazines, video tapes and often required entry into adult books stores and was difficult for teens to obtain.  Never before has sexually explicit material been so readily available and easily accessed.   A majority of teens and young adults have laptops, smart phones, I-pads and are constantly connected to the internet.  In a matter of seconds and virtually anywhere, pornography can viewed.  Internet porn is the medium by which most youth view pornography and most of it free of charge and without accountability for age of the viewer.

2.Potency of today’s Porn—There is a drastic difference between today’s online porn and the porn of just a few decades ago. Now, youth can go to countless websites and find more free porn than they could ever find the time to watch….all in high definition video. They can even pick their favorite template, hair color, sexual activity, and just watch video after video of it. It’s all free, easy to access, available within seconds, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and can be viewed on phones at any age.  Addicted teens find themselves driven to view more and more pornography and becoming more and more secretive and deceitful in their efforts to do so.  It is true that erotic photos and videos have been around a long time, but the dopamine arousal from turning the pages of a Playboy magazine can’t hold a candle to the steady stream of ever changing erotic stimulation that is so easily obtained from searching for and viewing online porn. This is why online erotica can create such powerful addictions in teens.  Today’s porn doesn’t satisfy teens’ needs; it distorts them. Teens are particularly vulnerable as the strength of the dopamine high is likely the strongest, most euphoric sensation they have ever experienced in their young lives. Skeptics need to understand this “high” rivals anything that could be achieved with drugs.

3.Diminished authentic relationships—The rising generation has been using technology on a daily basis for their entire lives and it is interfering with their ability to connect with others in a face to face and intimate manner.   Many teens text far more than they talk.  Some send more than 1000 texts a day.  Many teens spend hours and hours playing video games and interacting with “virtual friends” on Facebook while sitting at home alone and isolated from “real friends”.   Intimacy and connectedness can not occur in virtually or in cyberspace.  The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, which surveyed more than 12,000 high school students throughout the country, has noted that feelings of “connectedness” (feeling close to people at school, fairly treated by teachers, and loved and wanted at home) helped significantly to lower an individual’s likelihood of emotional distress, early sexual activity, substance abuse, violence, and suicide.  Another recent study found in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine has suggested that the more screen (computer, video game, cell phone) exposure teenagers get, the more detached they are from those round them.  There appears to be a relationship between adolescent screen time and the diminished social involvement with parents and peers.  Sexual addiction experts suggest that among the core issues driving the addiction is the lack of intimacy and fear of connectedness.

Mending The Armor is an outpatient treatment program that has been specifically designed to provide LDS youth and young adults with a formal approach for learning to manage and overcome an addiction to pornography and other unwanted sexual behaviors.  This program is currently being offered in eighteen locations in the United States and Canada.  See the Locations page on the website to find an office near you.  If you are therapist interested in providing this service in your office, see the Become A Provider page for information on how to join the Mending The Armor network

Q & A: Can the Mending The Armor program help teens who are struggling with other sexual behavior problems besides pornography?

Absolutely.  The Mending The Amor program is a great treatment option for teens who are struggling with a variety of non-legal sexual behavior problems.  We have been able to successful help many teens overcome various sexual behavior issues including: fetishes, voyeurism, compulsive masturbation, sexting, sexual promiscuity, cybersex, hypersexual talk and behavior, and of course pornography addiction. 

Finding treatment for sexual behavior problems for youth can be difficult.  Most communities have counseling offices that provide programs designed for juvenile sexual offenders who have committed sexual offenses, but few counseling offices offer treatment options for teens who are struggling with sexual behaviors that have not resulted in legal problems. 

Because of the sexualization of our culture and the abundance of pornography and immorality, there has never been a time when the rising generation has had a greater need for guidance and direction regarding sexuality in their lives.

The Mending The Armor program provides a formal, structured approach to help teens to identify what healthy sexuality is and then develop a plan to achieve it.  The program also helps teens to identify and more effectively manage the underlying emotional issues which typically drive sexual behavior problems.  The program assists teens in being able to learn to manage sexual behavior problems while they are still young and prevent future problems.

Teens and Pornography: normal behavior or road to pathology?

Because of the ease of access to explicit materials and the sexualization of our society, parents and professionals are increasingly faced with the task of addressing the use of pornography among teens.  Statistics suggest that 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to internet pornography before the age of 18.  67% of youth admit to clearing their browsing history to hide their on-line behavior.   70% of young men between the ages of 18 to 24 admit to visiting pornography websites on a monthly basis. 

In the past, viewing pornography has been viewed as a taboo and unacceptable behavior for teens.  Is viewing pornography considered a normal and acceptable behavior for today’s teens?  Some teens think so.  When confronted about the habit of viewing pornography, they argue, “Everyone is doing it.” and “Isn’t it a better way to deal with sexual feelings than actually having sex?”. 

Many parents continue to reject the use of pornography by their teens, but often minimize or underestimate to what extent their teens or viewing pornography and the negative effects that viewing has on adolescent development.

Neurological research has found that pornography is highly addictive due to the chemical release in the brain that occurs while viewing pornography.  For some teens, the euphoria that is experienced from these neurotransmitter chemicals in the brain becomes a phenomena that is difficult to resist.  Many find an escape from reality through viewing pornography.  It becomes an easy way to temporarily avoid life difficulties.   The potency of on-line high definition pornography contributes to how easily some teens become addicted.  The strength of today’s pornography far surpasses what was found in the pornographic magazines of the past. 

Pornography distorts a teen’s view of sexuality and intimacy and ultimately destroys relationships.  One study found that 56% of divorce cases involve one party having an obsessive interest in pornography.  Teens who become addicted to pornography often begin isolate from others and their capacity to effectively socialize with others becomes weakened as increased time and energy is spent in fantasy and escape than in reality. 

As addicted teens move into adulthood and into marriage relationships, therapists warn that some prefer pornography and masturbation to real sex. 

While it is normal for teens to be curious and attracted to pornography, the consequences of developing a habit of viewing pornography can be damaging and long lasting.  If you know a teen or young adult who is struggling with a habit of viewing pornography or a parent who has a child struggling with pornography, let them know there is help.  Contact us today by clicking here.

Pornography use among teens…..a developmental issue, not simply a moral issue.

​For many years, religious organizations were at the forefront of championing the cause of vilifying pornography and suggesting that its influence was immoral and destructive.  This has led to the erroneous belief among many, that pornography use is a “moral” or a “religious issue’.  While it is clear that pornography can be highly destructive to one’s spirituality and morality, increasing evidence suggests that pornography can be disruptive to child and teen development in a variety of areas.

The paradigm regarding pornography use, particularly its impact on children and teens, needs to shift toward the problem not simply being a moral issue, but rather a developmental issue with potential long-lasting negative consequences.

The following are noted characteristics that have been found in teens who have developed a habit of regularly viewing pornography:

• Viewing and/or masturbating to internet pornography on a daily basis.

Staying up late at night to be alone to view pornography and then having trouble waking up for school.

• Loss of interest in school and extracurricular activities.

• Diminished interest in socialization and outside activity with peers including dating.

• Secrecy with behavior, particularly with technology, and increased isolation including long periods of time alone in their bedroom with the door locked.

• Pattern of lying to parents and other adults about on-line activities including deleting browser history, viruses on computers, etc.

• A diminished empathy toward others and lack of interest in family activities.

• Development of hypersexual attitude, language and possible sexually inappropriate interests.

Each of these characteristics along with a host of other unmentioned characteristics impede the developmental process of youth who become addicted to pornography.  Those youth who become addicted to pornography are typically unable to break free from the addiction on their own.  In many cases, the addiction is kept secret and continues into adulthood and eventually becomes a contributor to depression, marital problems and legal problems.

The good news is that youth who become addicted and get help, are able to break free from the addiction.

Viewing the problem as a developmental issue, rather than simply a moral issue is an important first step.  Educating parents and professionals about the importance of screening for possible addiction comes next. Then, developing and implementing treatment options specific to children and teens who have become addicted becomes the focus.

Q & A: My son does not live in an area where the Mending The Armor program is offered. Is there a way he can still benefit from the services you offer?

We want to make pornography addiction treatment for LDS teens and young adults available to all who need it regardless of location.  While our preference for providing treatment services is face to face interaction with a treatment group and therapist, we also recognize that pornography addiction treatment specific for LDS youth is not available in many areas.  In an effort to make our treatment available for as many youth as possible, we have created a program that is provided via the internet.

For LDS youth who do not have access to pornography addiction treatment in their local area, on-line treatment is available!  Youth can participate in both individual and group therapy sessions over the internet using video conferencing.  Youth use the same Breaking Free workbooks and curriculum that is utilized in face to face treatment groups and have access to the same therapists. The only equipment needed is a computer, a web cam and a high speed internet connection.

Simply call our office at 800-584-4629 to schedule appointments with one of our therapists.  We will mail you the workbook and instructions for setting up the video conferencing.  Each week your son will meet with his therapist using video conferencing as he works to complete the Mending The Armor program.

Missionaries, Mending The Armor and LDS Addiction Recovery

​Many of the clients who have participated in the Mending The Armorprogram have been young men preparing for missions or returned missionaries who have slipped back into the addiction.  As therapists working with LDS young men, we recognize the problem is real and that unfortunately, even returned missionaries sometimes need treatment for pornography addiction.

Dr. Don Hilton stated in his book He Restoreth My Soul wrote: “The current scenario of sending the young man on a mission after three to six months of “white knuckle’ sobriety is only setting him up for intermittent struggling throughout his mission, and/or quick relapse upon return and re-introduction into the overwhelming media barrage he will sure face”.

Speaking of returned missionaries he wrote: “Understand that the majority of young men returning from missions are slipping quickly into addiction, and we must be ready to support them with 12 Step support groups specific to pornography addiction immediately upon return from their mission.  We should be as determined to support them as the adversary is to capture them as they emerge from a spiritual high and enter the world again.  If we can change the current pattern of quick relapse after mission, we can begin to see dating and marriage patterns return to normalcy”.

Treatment specific to pornography addiction among LDS young men is greatly needed.  Mending The Armor is designed to meet this need.

Using the YPAST (Youth Pornography Addiction Screening Tool) our outcome studies have shown that participants who have completed this program, participated in LDS addiction recovery meetings and worked closely with their bishops have experienced high rates of success in abstaining and managing pornography addiction and other unwanted sexual behaviors.  The average pre-treatment YPAST score is a 57.  The post-treatment YPAST score is a 19.  These findings suggest significant improvement in reducing and eliminating pornography use among our clients.

It is important to note that the Mending The Armor program is not intended to replace the LDS Addiction Recovery Program, but rather to prepare youth and young adults to more fully benefit from recovery meetings.  Participants are encouraged to participate in LDS twelve-step Recovery meetings in conjunction with the Mending The Armor program.  Clients are prepared to transition from our treatment services into their local LDS Addiction Recovery Programs for long-term support and recovery.

Teen Internet Pornography Addiction: The Gateway to Sexual Addiction

​While it is not unusual behavior for adolescent males to be curious about pornography and explore their curiosity on the internet, this simple curiosity can escalate into a dangerous addiction that can have serious consequences.

Most parents initially minimize the problem, hoping their son is merely “experimenting”.  This mistake is very unfortunate because internet pornography is the gateway to sex addiction.  Often it happens so rapidly that most parents are oblivious to the problem until it’s too late.  Additionally, there are those who preach that pornography use among teens is considered “normal” and consider seeking treatment for pornography addiction as an overreaction to typical teen behavior.

Because of the rapid developmental and maturity process of the teen brain, addiction can happen quicker than we are willing to believe.  The problems of teenage pornography addiction are real, devastating, and increasing.   Treatment is necessary to prevent the addiction from becoming a full blown sex addiction.  Due to the easy access the internet provides, youth can move into more dangerous sexual behaviors on-line including:

-purchasing sexual products.

-participating in sexually related chats.

-learning about and experimenting with different aspects of sexuality such as  bondage, homosexuality, anal sex, etc.

-giving out name and phone number to meet people in person.

-meeting face to face with someone he met online for sexual purposes.

-viewing illegal sexual material.

Parents should anticipate resistance from their teen when confronting them and suggesting the need for treatment.  While many youth may deny their struggle, others may agree that they have a problem.  Unfortunately, simply admitting it is a problem does not lead to termination of the behavior.
parents need to take the lead by seeking treatment for their child, holding them accountable for their internet activities and supporting them in their efforts to recover.

Teen sexual behavior problems: Four steps for LDS Families.

With the ever increasing amount of sexual content on the internet and in the media, many LDS families are faced with the difficult and uncomfortable task of having to address sexual behavior problems in their children including pornography addiction.  Many parents are uncertain about how to handle these situations and where to turn for help.

Among the behavior problems include:

-Repeated viewing of pornography
-Compulsive masturbation
-Sexual experimentation
-Sexting
-Cybersex
-Inappropriate internet sexual behaviors
-Fetishes
-Voyeurism
-Sexual boundary issues within the family or with other youth
-Hypersexual behavior

Most parents know the basics for protecting their children from predatory adults on the Internet, but few understand what to do if a child or teenager repeatedly seeks out pornography, phone sex, or risky physical encounters.  How can parents differentiate between typical sexual curiosity and a serious problem that requires professional help?  Listed below are four steps parents can follow for helping a teen struggling with sexual behavior problems.

1. Monitor your teen’s behavior.

Parents need to be aware of what their children are viewing on the internet and in the media.  Using internet accountability programs such as Covenant Eyes are strongly recommended.   Parents need to be aware of who their children are spending time with and what types of activities in which their children participate.  Parents will also want to re-evaluate the types and amounts of media they have allowed in the home.

2. Talk to your teen.

Parents need to be responsible for assuring their children have received a comprehensive sex education.  Parents can’t leave this to schools, the church or the media.  Parents can’t allow their children’s knowledge of sexuality to be largely provided by what they see and hear in the media.   In some cases, parents and teens will already have experienced serious communication breakdown.   How parents approach their teens regarding concerns about sexual behavior issues will likely determine whether unhealthy patterns of communications will continue to disrupt and frustrate the relationship or whether a new foundation of openness, trust, and safety can be built and sustained throughout the struggle.  It is true that everyone may feel awkward or uncomfortable.  Regardless of the discomfort, however, when there is evidence of illicit sexual behavior and possible addiction, parents have to take the lead and the communication needs to occur.

3. Get your teen help.

Professional intervention is often needed for managing sexual behavior issues in teens.  Some parents make the mistake of denying or minimizing the seriousness of the problems.  While some youth are able to break the habit through working with their bishop and the repentance process, other youth require more intensive attention than what the bishop can offer.  It is far wiser to seek a professional evaluation, than to take the risk of brushing off the emergence of sexual problem that can have long-lasting consequences.   Waiting until a youth is serving a mission to discover that the problems are still present is devastating to the entire family.  It is better to be proactive in making sure that youth have the skills to manage addictive behaviors.  Most pornography and sexual addiction first manifests during adolescence and prevention is the best method of intervention.  The Youth Pornography Addiction Screening (YPAST) is a free tool that can be used to assess for a possible pornography addiction in teens.

4. Become educated.

Pornography and sexual addiction is a phenomenon that is not understood by much of the population.  Parents need to understand that addiction to pornography can have some of the same characteristics as a drug addiction.  Parents need to realize that their teen is likely suffering from extreme shame and embarrassment.  Parents need to learn about the science behind pornography addiction and then become a source of support for assisting their teen in the creation of a recovery plan that allows them to work to achieve healthy sexuality in their life.