The Breaking Free Workbook: Helping Youth Overcome Pornography Addiction

Since its publication in January 2011, the Breaking Free workbook has been instrumental in assisting hundreds of youth around the country overcome pornography addiction.  The workbook provides a systematic approach for youth to follow as they strive to break free from a habit to which they have been enslaved, sometimes for many years.  Together with participation in individual and group therapy, many youth have experienced great success in breaking free from pornography addiction.

The workbook is published by the Youth Pornography Addiction Center www.ypacenter.com and is the text that is used by therapists who run Mending The Armor and Star Guides outpatient programs.

The Breaking Free workbook is a twelve chapter text that leads youth to a greater understanding of pornography addiction including the brain science, the identification of underlying issues leading to the formation of an addiction and most importantly provides youth with specific strategies and guidance in learning to manage and overcome the addiction.

The last chapter of the workbook assists the young person in the creation of a long-term recovery plan that the youth can use in their efforts to abstain from relapse after they have completed treatment.

Youth Pornography Addiction Screening Tool

The Youth Pornography Addiction Screening Tool (YPAST) is an initial screening assessment tool for adolescents ages 12 to 18 with potential addiction to pornography.  It is being developed with adolescent clients in outpatient settings around the United States.  The YPAST provides a profile of responses that help to identify adolescents who are addicted to pornography.   Click Here to access the YPAST.  ​

12 strategies for fighting unwanted thoughts for teens

Described below is a list of strategies that can be effective in learning to avoid, ignore and not focus on sexual thoughts and fantasies.

1. Practice positive self-talk. Think positive and confident thoughts about yourself and your ability to be successful.
2. Practice identifying the spread of thoughts occurring in your mind at any given time and then selectively choosing to focus on the thoughts that are appropriate and productive.
3. Practice being in the present, “here and now”. Train yourself to pay attention to things occurring around you rather than getting caught up in the thoughts in your head.
4. Fill your mind with positive and useful thoughts so that the brain trails in your head are strong and clear to positive information while sexual thought trails become weak and difficult to navigate.
5. Be interactive with people around you. The more you communicate with other people, the less time you have to dwell on unwanted thoughts.
6. Try not to be alone. Don’t isolate yourself or look for chances to be alone. Involve yourself in social activities.
7. Avoid seeing pornographic images, hearing discussion about sexual themes, or being around people engaged in sexual behaviors.
8. If you find yourself dwelling on sexual thoughts, find something to do such as talking to a friend, exercising, or singing a church song.
9. Pray to God for strength to help you avoid sexual thoughts.
10. If you find yourself fantasizing, don’t keep it a secret, talk to your therapist or religious leader.
11. Use the tracking charts found at the back of each chapter in this workbook to monitor your progress in avoiding fantasies, and pornography.
12. Read scriptures or write in your journal.

15 Myths about Pornography for Teens

1. “Viewing pornography only affects me and does not affect others.” MYTH

As with other addictions, there is a ripple effect from the behavior and family members, friends and others suffer from the consequences of the addiction, often times with the addicted person being too blinded by the addiction to realize this. Young people addicted to pornography neglect important relationships to pursue their addiction.

2. “Pornography is a good way to deal with sexual urges without being sexually active.” MYTH

Pornography always increases sexual urges and sexual drive and makes it more likely for sexual acting out to occur. Most people agree that there are numerous negative consequences from young people becoming sexually active at an early age.

3. “Pornography is a harmless way to relax and unwind.” MYTH

Studies have shown that pornography is highly addictive and mind altering. Using pornography as an “unwinding” or stress relieving activity prevents the development of normal coping skills for stress and anxiety. This is particularly harmful for young people who should be developing healthy coping skills to learn to deal with stress.

4.“Pornography is a good way to gain information about sex.” MYTH

Sexual scenes depicted in pornographic movies are often shown in an exaggerated way and are presented as extremely exciting and arousing. These scenes portray an inaccurate and unrealistic view of sexual experiences often leaving those that anticipate similar experiences disappointed. Young people who have an unrealistic view of sexual experiences because of inaccurate pornographic depictions may find themselves comparing their future spouses to what they saw in pornographic images which may interfere with achieving a fulfilling marriage.

5. “Viewing pornography can decrease the significance and meaning of your sexual relationship with your future spouse.” FACT

Viewing pornography will desensitize your future sexual experience and lessen the meaning of sex in your future relationships. Young people who refrain from viewing pornography will find that their sexual relationships with a future spouse will be more rewarding and fulfilling if they have not been desensitized from pornography.

6. “Pornography depicts the individuals portrayed as objects rather than people.” FACT

Remember, each person that you look at is a daughter, sister, son or brother of someone. Would you want people looking at your own future wife, husband, daughter, sister, son or brother in a sexual way?

7. “Pornography will not increase my sexual urges.” MYTH

Viewing pornography will increase your sexual urges and thoughts. You will become preoccupied with sexual thoughts and find it difficult to focus on the things in your life that are really important

.8.“Viewing pornography dulls the conscience.” FACT

Your ability and willingness to distinguish right from wrong are affected by viewing pornography making it easier to justify irresponsible and deceitful behavior. You may find yourself making excuses and deceiving yourself about activities in which you did not participate. During your youth, having a strong conscience is critical as you make important decisions that will impact the rest of your life.

9.“Pornography will not affect the priorities I have in my life.” MYTH

Viewing pornography will eventually become the most important activity in your life. The things in your life that should be most important such as family, school, socializing with friends, extra-curricular activities and participation in religious activities will become less important and a lower priority than your pornography addiction.

10.“Pornography distances one from God and Spirituality.” FACT

It becomes increasingly difficult to feel connected to God while viewing pornography. Feelings of darkness and discouragement will replace the light in your soul. This is especially important as developing spirituality as a young person will assist you in making many of the important decisions that you will be making about your future life.

11. “Viewing pornography can literally cause damage to the brain.” FACT

Recent scientific research is showing evidence that viewing pornography changes the composition of the brain in a manner similar to the effects that drugs have on the brain. Most young people realize the harmful effect of drugs on the brain, but far fewer realize that viewing pornography can have the same effects.

12. “Pornography can be viewed if it is done in way that doesn’t interfere with other life activities.” MYTH

Pornography is addictive to the point that you will begin to find yourself wasting hours in front of the computer or television and spending large amounts of time, energy and money supporting the addiction. You may be able to start out by occasional viewing, but in time, you will begin to neglect school work, spending time with family and friends and putting off other things in favor of viewing pornography.

13. “I can stop looking at pornography once I get into a serious relationship.” MYTH

Because of the nature of addiction, giving up the habit is more difficult than you think and will have an impact on your future relationships. In addition, if you are addicted to pornography, you may miss out on the opportunities to develop the personal characteristics that will allow you to be a part of a successful serious relationship such as a healthy marriage.

14. “Viewing pornography can lower my self-esteem and affect my self-confidence.” FACT

The addiction cycle moves on a downward spin, and the level of happiness and life satisfaction decreases with continued addiction. Viewing pornography brings quick and fleeting pleasure, but after the euphoria of the moment is gone, it leaves you feeling depressed and discouraged about continuing to engage in the behavior when your intention was to stop.

15. “Pornography is not really addictive. You just have to decide to stop looking.” MYTH

While choosing to not look is important, the power of the addiction is strong enough that many young people continue to look at pornography despite attempts and efforts to stop looking. Young people who believe that they can simply decide to stop looking may be in denial about how strong the addictive nature of pornography actually is.

Pornography use among teens…..a developmental issue, not simply a moral issue.

For many years, religious organizations were at the forefront of championing the cause of vilifying pornography and suggesting that its influence was immoral and destructive.  This has led to the erroneous belief among many, that pornography use is a “moral” or a “religious issue’.  While it is clear that pornography can be highly destructive to one’s spirituality and morality, increasing evidence suggests that pornography can be disruptive to child and teen development in a variety of areas.

The paradigm regarding pornography use, particularly its impact on children and teens, needs to shift toward the problem not simply being a moral issue, but rather a developmental issue with potential long-lasting negative consequences.

The following are noted characteristics that have been found in teens who have developed a habit of regularly viewing pornography:

• Viewing and/or masturbating to internet pornography on a daily basis.

Staying up late at night to be alone to view pornography and then having trouble waking up for school.

• Loss of interest in school and extracurricular activities.

• Diminished interest in socialization and outside activity with peers including dating.

• Secrecy with behavior, particularly with technology, and increased isolation including long periods of time alone in their bedroom with the door locked.

• Pattern of lying to parents and other adults about on-line activities including deleting browser history, viruses on computers, etc.

• A diminished empathy toward others and lack of interest in family activities.

• Development of hypersexual attitude, language and possible sexually inappropriate interests.

Each of these characteristics along with a host of other unmentioned characteristics impede the developmental process of youth who become addicted to pornography.  Those youth who become addicted to pornography are typically unable to break free from the addiction on their own.  In many cases, the addiction is kept secret and continues into adulthood and eventually becomes a contributor to depression, marital problems and legal problems.

The good news is that youth who become addicted and get help, are able to break free from the addiction.

Viewing the problem as a developmental issue, rather than simply a moral issue is an important first step.  Educating parents and professionals about the importance of screening for possible addiction comes next. Then, developing and implementing treatment options specific to children and teens who have become addicted becomes the focus.

Does use of pornography contribute to sexual offending behavior in teens?

In a recent study in Washington County, Utah in cases involving juvenile sexual offenses, it was found that 51 of the 76 cases studied involved the juvenile perpetrator viewing pornography on multiple occasions prior to the offense occurring.

As part of the evaluation process for determining the risk of future offending and need for treatment, juvenile offenders were asked to disclose their use of pornography prior to the sexual offenses occurring.   51 of the 76 youth who were interviewed admitted that they had viewed pornography on multiple occasions prior to engaging in the sexual offending behaviors.

These findings are significant as this data suggests that the use of pornography may be a factor that contributes to sexual offending behavior in teens.  The study does not suggest that every youth who views pornography will engage in sexual offending behaviors, but it does suggest that youth who view pornography may pose a greater risk to engaging in sexual offending behavior.

While there are a variety of factors that contribute to juvenile sexual offending behaviors, the use of pornography by the perpetrator is a factor that should be given increased attention and should be adequately addressed in treatment.  Because of the infiltration of pornography into our society, particularly among youth, and along with the vulnerability of being impacted by pornography, a growing number of teens are finding themselves involved in the legal system due to sexual acting out behaviors.

Many of these youth have no prior criminal history, do not have pedophilic tendencies, do not display other sexually deviant behaviors and do not demonstrate anti-social tendencies, but yet, because of having committed a sexual offense are being placed in treatment settings designed for juvenile sexual offenders who present as more “traditional” sexual offenders.

The most prominent conclusion from this small study:  While certainly teen sexual offending behaviors need to be prosecuted and treated, there also needs to be increased consideration given to the need for assessing and treating this new generation of offenders in a manner that will be most effective and get to the core of the issues, which in many cases involves treating an addiction to pornography.  In addition to the already well-established tenants of sexual offender treatment, juvenile sexual offenses treatment should also include assessment and intervention for potential addiction to pornography.

Q&A: I am worried that my son has developed an addiction to pornography, but he is such a good kid, I am hesitant to have him participate as I worry he may be exposed to youth with deeper problems.

It has been our experience that the vast majority of teens and young adults who pursue treatment for pornography addiction are good kids with a strong desire to uphold strong moral standards.  Their inability to shake the habit of viewing pornography weighs heavily on their conscious and this is a primary motivator for participating in the program.  Many of the youth who have participated in the program have been LDS youth who are working toward serving a mission or returned missionaries who have slipped back into the addiction.

Youth who lack a desire to live a morally clean life or uphold high standards typically do not pursue treatment for pornography addiction.  They simply do not see a problem with viewing pornography and are in denial regarding the destructive influence that pornography has on their thinking and behavior.  It is difficult to compel a youth who does not see a problem with viewing pornography to engage in a recovery problem for pornography addiction.

Our experience has been the opposite in terms of problems resulting from youth being exposed to other youth with more problematic behaviors.  Exposure to other youth in the program actually proves to be helpful and not harmful as group members’ support and strengthen each other in their efforts to achieve a recovery from the addiction.  It also is helpful for youth to recognize that they are not alone in their battle with the addiction, but that other young people who are also “good kids” are struggling with the same issue.

Q&A: My son has been clean from pornography for several months without professional help. What benefit is there for him to participate in the program?

It sounds like your son is making progress and it is encouraging that he has been able to refrain from using pornography for several months. The Mending The Armor program can still be of great benefit to your son as we want to assure that all youth who participate in the program are able to achieve a long-term recovery from pornography addiction and not simply be “abstinent” for a period of time. Breaking an addiction to pornography can be difficult and often times can involve multiple periods of abstinence followed by relapses. We believe there is a difference between “abstinence” and “recovery”.

It has been our experience that many youth are able to refrain from viewing pornography by using will power alone for a period of time, but that unfortunately, too many eventually relapse back into the addiction. This happens with some young men who refrain from viewing pornography to become worthy to serve a mission, but with the stresses and demands of missionary life, begin to struggle again with the addiction while serving. This also happens with some returned missionaries who have been able to remain abstinent while on their missions, but upon returning home and reintegrating into society, become vulnerable and return to the addiction. For many adults attempting to overcome the addiction, their pornography addiction has been a life-long issue and only after years of failed attempts, have realized that they can’t do it on their own and need professional help. The Mending The Armor program is designed to help young people learn to manage the addiction while they are still young, so they can avoid having to deal with the problem later in life.

“Abstinence” is defined as simply refraining from the use of pornography through will power, while “recovery” refers to the acquisition of the insight to understand the origins, cycle and underlying issues that accompany the addiction along with the skills to manage the emotions that drive the addiction.

Youth who complete the program are provided professional clinical intervention to assist them in identifying the origins of the addiction, the cycle of the addiction, the underlying emotional issues that drive the addiction and assistance in the creation of a recovery plan. The recovery plan then serves as a long-term guide for effective management of a proclivity toward using pornography. Completing the Mending The Armor program serves as an important tool beyond simply “will power” for helping youth to overcome pornography addiction.

Pornography Addiction Treatment for Teens and Young Adults now Available in Rexburg, Idaho

The Mending The Armor Program offering treatment for pornography addiction for LDS teens and young adults is now available in Rexburg, Idaho through Centerpoint Counseling. This office serves the Teton and Upper Snake River Valley.  Geoff Winfree has helped hundreds of individuals and families while in private practice since 1997 and has supervised other clinicians since 1999. He provides counseling to individuals, couples, and families using a brief systems approach. Geoff helps address a wide array of issues including depression, addiction and substance abuse, pornography, eating disorders, suicidal impulses, stress management, problems with self-esteem, issues associated with aging, job and career concerns, educational decisions, issues related to mental and emotional health, and family, parenting, and marital or other relationship problems. Geoff’s current work includes:

• Adjunct Faculty Member of Brigham Young University-Idaho in the Home and Family Department;
• Contracted Mental Health Provider for the Brigham Young University-Idaho Counsling Center;
• Clinician for Upper Valley Resoures and Counseling Services;
• Clinical Member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Theraists;
• Member of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psycholotherapists;
• Professional Lecturer;
• Licensed in Idaho and Oregon.
• Clinical Therapist at Vista Health Center, Idaho Falls, ID

Brandon has been working therapeutically with individuals, couples, and families since 2005. He has worked in various settings that include: residential, home-based and outpatient. His experience includes work with children, adolescents, adults and couples. This experience covers a broad range of issues, including parenting, marital, pre-marital and family conflicts. His extensive training and education allow him to address issues such as attention-deficit, defiance, adoption issues, depression, anxiety, grief, anger management, marital and pre-marital satisfaction, sex addiction, couple sexual dysfunction, traumatic events and childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse.  Brandon has received specific training in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IRRT (Information Rescripting and Reprocessing Therapy), which allow him to assist individuals, couples and families who have experienced trauma events such as: physical, sexual or emotional abuse, life-threatening situations or significant losses. Brandon’s current work includes:

• Clinical Member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
• Clinical Member of the Idaho Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
• Licensed in both Idaho and Utah
• Serving on the Conference Committee for the Idaho Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.