Because of the ever increasing amount of sexual content on the internet and in the media, many LDS parents are faced with the difficult and uncomfortable task of having to address sexual behavior problems in their children including pornography addiction. Many are uncertain about how to handle these situations and where to turn for help.
Among the behavior problems include:
-Repeated viewing of pornography
-Compulsive masturbation
-Sexual experimentation
-Sexting
-Cybersex
-Inappropriate internet sexual behaviors
-Fetishes
-Voyeurism
-Sexual boundary issues within the family or with other youth
-Hypersexual behavior
Most parents know the basics for protecting their children from predatory adults on the Internet, but few understand what to do if a child or teenager repeatedly seeks out pornography, phone sex, or risky physical encounters. How can parents differentiate between typical sexual curiosity and a serious problem that requires professional help? Listed below are four steps LDS parents can follow for helping a teen struggling with sexual behavior problems.
1. Monitor your teen’s behavior.
Parents need to be aware of what their children are viewing on the internet and in the media. Using internet accountability programs such as Covenant Eyes are strongly recommended. Parents need to be aware of who their children are spending time with and what types of activities in which their children participate. Parents will also want to re-evaluate the types and amounts of media they have allowed in the home.
2. Talk to your teen.
Parents need to be responsible for assuring their children have received a comprehensive sex education. Parents can’t leave this to schools, priesthood leaders or the media. Parents can’t allow their children’s knowledge of sexuality to be largely provided by what they see and hear in the media. In some cases, parents and teens will already have experienced serious communication breakdown. How parents approach their teens regarding concerns about sexual behavior issues will likely determine whether unhealthy patterns of communications will continue to disrupt and frustrate the relationship or whether a new foundation of openness, trust, and safety can be built and sustained throughout the struggle. It is true that everyone may feel awkward or uncomfortable. Regardless of the discomfort, however, when there is evidence of illicit sexual behavior and possible addiction, parents have to take the lead and the communication needs to occur.
3. Get your teen help.
Professional intervention is often needed for managing sexual behavior issues in teens. Some parents make the mistake of denying or minimizing the seriousness of the problems. While some youth are able to break the habit through working with their bishop and the repentance process, other youth require more intensive attention than what the bishop can offer. It is far wiser to seek a professional evaluation, than to take the risk of brushing off the emergence of sexual problem that can have long-lasting consequences. Waiting until a youth is serving a mission to discover that the problems are still present is devastating to the entire family. It is better to be proactive in making sure that youth have the skills to manage addictive behaviors. Most pornography and sexual addiction first manifests during adolescence and prevention is the best method of intervention. The Youth Pornography Addiction Screening (YPAST) is a free tool that can be used to assess for a possible pornography addiction in teens.
4. Become educated.
Pornography and sexual addiction is a phenomenon that is not understood by much of the population. Parents need to understand that addiction to pornography can have some of the same characteristics as a drug addiction. Parents need to realize that their teen is likely suffering from extreme shame and embarrassment. Parents need to learn about the science behind pornography addiction and then become a source of support for assisting their teen in the creation of a recovery plan that allows them to work to achieve healthy sexuality in their life.
Mending The Armor is a program that has been designed to help LDS youth and young adults overcome an addiction to pornography.